This is not a happy post. This post is crazy as hell. Please excuse my raving, which I'm sure doesn't contain the best use of proper English.
This semester needs to be over.
Seriously, I mean I feel like I've just failed. At some things, at others, no. But generally, things have been not the best.
Sorry this graph sucks.
I need to just try again, because this time around just sucked. Yes, I improved at the clarinet and am now ready for the challenges being a performance major will bring, whereas I wasn't handling it well before. Yes, I figured out that I needed to get my act together and quit messing around. But all this shit that's happened this semester has accumulated to the point where I can't concentrate on anything. I may not be stressed from my classes, but right now, at this very moment, I'm emotionally stressed. I'm so frustrated right now, SO pissed...LORD, I just need the strength to not flip a tit this week.
FINALS WEEK...it is upon us. I can't say I'm worried about all of my tests, when I'm really only worried about music history. I'm prepared for my jury, and I've got really good reeds. No, it's not that I'm worried about. I hate how stressed everyone is, even though I know there's no way around it. I feel terrible, because I'm so much less busy than the other people in my world. Shoulda-coulda-woulda taken more classes, eh?
Words escape me right now. At this point, I'm kind of just typing every little thought that pops into my head. I've been in my sweats all day. I practiced clarinet for about half an hour and got bored. I started 3 different clarinet quartet arrangements last night and didn't finish any of them, though I got pretty far. I can't even. I have to pee, my mocassins are falling apart, where am I going to buy a carpet for next semester, why won't the zit on my left cheek go away?! Good God.
I need to go outside and scream profanities. I need to lay down on the couch with a puppy, take a nap, and absorb the love. I need to be away from here for a while, to refresh my perspective.
Angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst.
Next semester's ass will be kicked repeatedly.
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