Things have definitely improved since my last post. Thanks to some wonderful people, I'm back on track and feeling much better...I love that no matter how close or far away my friends are, they always seem to be here for me and know the perfect things to cheer me up! AND, my grandma made a surprise visit to my room and brought me homemade oatmeal-chocolate-chip cookies!!!
Nomnomnomnomnom...
So my clarinet jury was today. I think I did fairly well. I spun the scale wheel ("wheel of death"), and got A. Funny, I warmed up on my A♭scale, but whatever. I walked over to the piano to tune, played a quick A and F, and Dr. Guy just starts playing without warning. I'm like, OK! We jumped right into it. It was alright. At the end of it, Dr. McCandless told me I did "very well", and Dr. Floyd was all like "You were very well prepared! Good!"
Good indeed. It was very good to hear that from them :]]
And then Dr. McCandless goes "You stayed vertical the whole time, I'm impressed!" (referring to my apparently exquisite balance in my tall shoes). "We should have a lesson in walking in heels sometime...*whispers* put all your weight on the backs of your feet!" (or was it the balls of my feet?) I can't remember...but in any case, my jury must have gone well, because the woodwind faculty members were in good humor afterwards. Barry even brought up how he met my dad at the Jazz Panthers concert back in November, when dad asked if he could plug his camera into the audio recording software...bad idea, but they made up and it was alright.
Aaaaaaaanyway. So that was that.
Only 5 more finals to go!! Tomorrow is Sightsinging...basically, I'll go in there and sing a prepared melody on solfege syllables, and get scored out of 50 points. 35 and above passes. I haven't really heard much about Mrs. Vallentine, the lady I signed up to take my test from...all I've heard is that Dr. Lee's failing a bunch of people, Dr. Washut's grading is generally difficult, and Schmitz more so than Washut.
I should explain, Dr. Lee is a different Dr. Lee than the asshole who teaches my Math In Decision Making class. This Dr. Lee is actually a very nice lady who plays the organ and has an endearing Korean accent :)
You know what's awesome? Dr. Washut sent out a holiday email to our Theory/AT/SS class!! It had this song attached to it, called Christmas In Heaven...in the email, he was all like "I'm not a religious man, but I do connect with a universal spirit or energy of some sort. This recording captures a very soulful quality, and I think it's appropriate to share with you all at this time of year. Happy Holidays, and good luck with your finals!"
I'm not religious either, but it was a good song. Not gonna lie.
On a different note...you know that feeling you get when you think someone's mad at you but you can't tell? It's obvious that I'm not a perfect person (no one is, really...), so I know I don't always do things the best way or say things in the best way that they could be said. Also, If THIS isn't obvious, I'm kind of clueless sometimes. So occasionally, something offensive might slip out. I'm not talking about swear words, I'm talking about maybe a little remark that someone in my present company might take offense to. But anyway.
This is a fragile time...finals, changing weather, people getting tired of eachother...so things are bound to get a little tense. I can feel it happening around campus. It may be subtle, but it's there.
To anyone who may be reading this and feeling frustrated, with me or anyone else, or anyTHING else...I know that things may seem aggravating and stupid right now, but listen. Whether you feel like you "can't play your instrument", or like you're dumb, or someone's bugging the living shit out of you, or like even your best friend thinks you're an annoying bitch, trust me. It might seem that way at this point, but it isn't nearly as bad as you think, and definitely not worth fretting over. Maybe you just need to cry, to get it out of your system. Maybe you just need someone to take you and run down the hallway like a maniac to relieve stress. Maybe you need to get drunk and watch an action movie. Maybe you need to take time to laugh at the little things you do with friends. Maybe you need to draw a picture for your favorite teacher. Maybe you need to stop thinking so negatively when you practice. Maybe you just need a hug.
...Maybe this holiday break can't come soon enough!!
I mean, I love UNI and all my friends to death, but lets be honest. We all need some time off :)
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